watching other people struggle

body of water under blue and white skies
Photo by Matt Hardy on

The tears are just as painful as my own,

Knowing how that sinking feeling drags

At the heart, the soul, the physical.

You know that you will lose your grip

And drop so very soon, while all around

Are seeming to be sailing smoothly

Out across a sky so blue,

A different sky to that known by so few.

The lady that started in the English Department at the same time as me really seems to be struggling and I’m starting to think that she might not carry on much longer.

She has some horrible classes and their behaviour just seems to be grinding her down. It’s really hard to watch someone struggle so much – because it’s normally me who is there.

I remember when I attempted to become a recruitment consultant when I was still drinking and it went horribly wrong. I recall the feeling of sitting in the office and watching everyone else thrive while I was slowly sinking.

I think that having experienced it before makes it worse to watch from the outside, because then you know just how much it hurts. I hope this lady is just having a bad week and that she gets through this. And I’m also really grateful that I’m bobbing along nicely. I never thought I’d be so grateful to be so normal!

Much Love

Rachel xx

2 thoughts on “watching other people struggle

  1. Margot Kinberg

    It is hard to watch someone struggle, isn’t it, Rachel? Especially when you’ve been there, and you know how it feels. Hopefully you can find ways to be there for that teacher as she decides what she’s going to do (or, perhaps, as it’s decided what will happen in her case).

  2. clcouch123

    You express a great deal of insight here, if I may say. You keenly appreciate your colleague’s distress, because you are equipped with your own experience. You empathize. And you are grateful for where you are now. You show both concern and reason. What do I now but that I think this is a great inward accomplishment.

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