She taps her pen on her notepad,

Nodding her head and possibly frowning,

Considering the words that fell from my mouth.

She has thoughts, she’ll go to the office

To discuss with the others. I hope

That she doesn’t laugh about me. Perhaps

They have a board in there, counting how many

Patients they’ve made cry that day,

A competition, in a way.

I’m obsessed with the Lori Gottlieb book that I am reading at the moment. I think it might be because I would love to go and see a therapist again. I did find it really difficult to deal with the fact that I couldn’t know what the therapist thought of me and reading this book is really helping me with that.

I think it would be really interesting to unpick how I’m feeling having gotten myself out of the sticky situation that I was in last time around.

It was really interesting to hear Lori speak about why we go to therapy and what our expectations are and I think that’s the biggest thing that has changed in my life. Now, rather than wanting the dream life, I just want a calmer life where I feel like I’m doing something worthwhile.

Now I know that those two things are not the same.

Much Love

Rachel xx