There must come a point when we stop

That foot stamping thought that life is unfair

And just come to know that being a human

Is hugely uncomfortable. Perhaps

It’s when we leave childhood behind,

Those painfully heavy teenage years?

Or maybe it’s when the heart first breaks?

I can’t remember the day, but I wish

That I could go back and whisper in her ear

That life is real hard, and it’s the same for us all;

So take a deep breath and smile for the world,

We’re all breaking up somewhere inside.

I sometimes wonder when it was that I realised that life was hard. I do remember thinking that life was awfully unfair and that it would be great to be anybody else but me. But there must have been a moment when I realised that being human is really painful.

Becoming an adult seems to go hand in hand with the understanding that we have human emotions and experiences that we are all going to have regardless of where we live, what job we do or how much money we earn. No amount of money will ever get us out of the crushing feeling of a heartbreak or two.

I don’t even really remember the time that I realised other people had feelings. I know that while I was drinking it was hard to understand this. I couldn’t watch a movie and sympathise with any of the characters. It feels like it’s only in the last few years that I have realised other people hurt too. I genuinely thought that my pain was the worst in the world.

There must be a point when we see that life is difficult and uncomfortable for everyone and I don’t know if it’s better or worse to know this. I wish that I had understood earlier on, but it’s definitely made me a lot more cynical.

Growth is important, but that childlike innocence numbed a lot of what we feel as grown ups.

Much Love

Rachel xx