He smiles wryly as I tell him
I don’t know what I pay per month, or how many gigs
I eat through a year, like I’m kinda dumb
For not knowing what phone I have,
Just that it’s a Samsung, a J something I think.
And so I get scared of visiting the phone shop,
Exposing my weaknesses, the choices
I don’t have the knowledge to make.
So just like a Subway or Starbucks,
Where the choices in bread or cream or salad
Or some poncy vanilla sweet shot overwhelm
And so I choose to avoid like the plague.
I upgraded my son’s phone today and it took a lot of psyching myself up to get into that shop. And that is because I always feel so nervous – so inadequate – every time I speak to anyone about a phone.
I genuinely don’t have a clue and I didn’t even understand what wifi was until about a year ago, so phone salesmen always look at me like I’ve landed from another planet whenever they speak to me.
I have similar issues when I go to Starbucks or Subway – just overwhelmed with all of the funny language and endless choices. The stress just doesn’t feel worth it. Just give me a ham and cheese sandwich and a white coffee and send me happily on my way!