He smiles wryly as I tell him
I don’t know what I pay per month, or how many gigs
I eat through a year, like I’m kinda dumb
For not knowing what phone I have,
Just that it’s a Samsung, a J something I think.
And so I get scared of visiting the phone shop,
Exposing my weaknesses, the choices
I don’t have the knowledge to make.
So just like a Subway or Starbucks,
Where the choices in bread or cream or salad
Or some poncy vanilla sweet shot overwhelm
And so I choose to avoid like the plague.
I upgraded my son’s phone today and it took a lot of psyching myself up to get into that shop. And that is because I always feel so nervous – so inadequate – every time I speak to anyone about a phone.
I genuinely don’t have a clue and I didn’t even understand what wifi was until about a year ago, so phone salesmen always look at me like I’ve landed from another planet whenever they speak to me.
I have similar issues when I go to Starbucks or Subway – just overwhelmed with all of the funny language and endless choices. The stress just doesn’t feel worth it. Just give me a ham and cheese sandwich and a white coffee and send me happily on my way!
7 thoughts on “the man in the phone shop scares me”
This is a nice poem! Thanks for sharing!
I think sometimes that the people who work in those places have no idea of just how intimidating it can be to be in them, Rachel. It’s funny you would mention upgrading, too. I’ve just ordered my own upgraded ‘phone, and it’s going to be very interesting to get used to it!
I sold gym memberships for several years and I used to love the people who were nervous because it was always really nice to calm them down and introduce them to the gym staff so they felt more comfortable. I could understand just how intimidating that environment is to some people. I love sport and fitness and even I’m too scared to go in the weight room!
You’re a brave person and a good mom. I say this while having a flip phone with a Consumer Cellular account. If I don’t get coffee at Starbuck’s I get a mocha, because that’s the only other thing I know to order. I don’t know how I learned about mochas. Subway I can do all right except sometimes I feel funny asking for more olives or banana peppers, as if I’m challenging supreme Subway wisdom. My sister-in-law would call these first-world problems, though I’m not sure how that applies. I trust your son will enjoy his upgraded phone.
I’m sure he will. And I’m feeling really chuffed with myself for surviving the experience!
People in phone shop industries are just assholes. If you don’t want the latest phone, if you’re looking for something that isn’t Apple or Samsung or something that’s been out for more than three months, they look at you like you’re speaking a different language. That’s just how the industry is.
It’s all about that commission!