genuinely thought i’d lose my job

computer tied with a black and yellow tape
Photo by Ron Lach on

Those nasty girls

That sharpen nails against my bones,

Giving looks that laser through

To my very soul.

They’re out to get you and

It’s just a matter of the lonely time.

I had a shocker of a day today with some girls being absolutely vile to me. They told me I was an awful teacher, they refused to do any work and then when I gave them a detention they just decided not to go.

There will be consequences for them, but I spent the whole day feeling terrified that everyone would believe their version of events and I would get the sack.

At the end of lunch I had two senior teachers come into my room and ask the students there to leave so that they could talk to me. I held my breath thinking that this was the moment that I would lose my job.

Fortunately, I was very wrong and they came in to say that I had done everything right and I just need to take a breath.

This experience is teaching me that I need to trust people will listen to me. I have a crushing fear that my voice will never be heard and I’ll always be called a liar. But my superiors taught me to listen to my gut today. I’m not always wrong; and yes, there are consequences for that kind of nastiness.

Much Love

Rachel xx

6 thoughts on “genuinely thought i’d lose my job

  1. Margot Kinberg

    How awful for you, Rachel! It sounds like those girls were completely out of line, and I’m very glad there will be consequences for them. I know I wouldn’t let them get away with it. I’m happy for you that your colleagues knew what was really going on, and listened to what you had to say. Now… b-r-e-a-t-h-e…

  2. Vic Crain

    One of the hardest and most important things is self confidence. That was a factor in your anxiety over the situation, but it may also have been a factor in the girls doing what they did. The animal side of humans has the ability to sense weakness and they try to take advantage of that. Look, I’m a nerd whose been doing sales for years. If that’s not an oxymoron, I don’t know what is. We all have doubts. Our body language and tone of voice can either advertise the doubts or completely mask them. Projecting self confidence builds the respect that students and colleagues [and customers] show to you.

      1. Vic Crain

        That kind of honesty is looked down upon in so many social situations. I agree, it is very side. The need to hide can be a major source of stress.

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