The sick feeling evaporated

The sick feeling that curdled in my stomach,

It evaporated like milk, leaving us behind

A sticky residue that smells so strongly

Of bitterness and broken dreams

And other cliches draped upon my shoulders.

Soon that scent will fade and then the joy

Can seep back in where once the fear

Permeated every organ, every bone,

Strengthening, not weakening no more.

I have had a good few months where I have felt sick on a Sunday night because I have my tricky class on a Monday. It is the most horrible feeling to view the end of the weekend kind of like it’s the Countdown clock and you have only found a three letter word.

I was torn to pieces on Friday because I have had the problem child removed from my class and I felt like I had failed. But if ever I needed confirmation that the right thing has been done, I’ve had it today – because that sick feeling is pretty much gone.

It’s amazing that one fifteen year old can make such a difference to your mental health and I hope that she realises how she makes people feel before she does some real damage.

Anyway, I found a brilliant video from Comic Relief that is pretty much exactly what I went through every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. You have to laugh, otherwise you would definitely cry.

Much Love

Rachel xx

4 thoughts on “The sick feeling evaporated

  1. Margot Kinberg

    I hope that student learns the impact she has on others, too, Rachel. And I hope you are learning to let go of your anxiety and self-doubt. You are not responsible for your problems. And, as I said last time you posted about this, she needs help that you don’t have the professional background to give. I hope she gets that help, and I hope you move forward with optimism.

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