I can get under your skin, miss,
For no particular reason,
I just quite like watching you squirm,
Seeing that flash behind your eyes.
I’ll move on next week
To my next one in line,
There I’ll get my fix, one more time.
I have a student who has a lot of behavioural problems and is regularly excluded from school – so I am fully aware that this isn’t just about me. But this kid has said some pretty brutal things to me over the past few days, and I wonder what goes through the heads of these students as they say what they say.
I am finding that I’m tough enough to laugh it off now, but I do find myself walking away and having a bit of a wobble. Today, he asked me if I’d actually done any teacher training because I don’t know how to control the tutor group.
Now, our tutor group is nuts so he’s not wrong in saying that I can’t control them – but nobody has managed to so the fact that I’m not giving up on them says something about me (I think). But still, as I walked to my next class I found myself letting his words get under my skin.
I know that this shows my own lack in confidence, but I’m also left wondering what is going on in his head. Does he want to hurt me? Maybe he wants to see me cry? Or is he hurting and displacing those feelings?
Interestingly, the moment I tried to talk about his feelings, he bolted. I assume there is something niggling away at him that hurts an awful lot when it’s poked – and that makes me feel sad for him.