To stop and hold my breath
And let my thoughts bloom out
Like watercolours on the page,
Changing shape in ways we can’t predict,
But once the page is stained with paint
Those thoughts can never change.
I hate week long holidays because they are never long enough to fully relax. I spend the entire time worrying about what has just happened in the previous term, and then from Wednesday, I’m worrying about what is to come.
One interesting thing I have found with this half term is that jobs for next year start to come out and so there is that added anxiety over whether to jump or stay put.
My last half term felt a bit rocky, so my normal reaction in times like this is to run for the hills. But I also realise that hasn’t always worked out so well for me in the past. I always wonder why others have better luck than me, and really it seems to boil down to their ability to see things out.
I still have that nagging feeling that I’m going to get the sack but I also know that others have that feeling that they’re failing and it’s what you do with that that will set you apart from others.
I’m being given the opportunity to really get my head down and shape myself into the best teacher I can possibly be and so running away from that doesn’t seem to be the sensible option. So this time I’m going to risk failing and stick with it. I hope you have the chance to stick with something too; it would be fun to compare notes when the dust has settled and we all know the final score…