Treading water
While holding a brick
Above my head
And waves washing over,
Water choking
And offering no hope
Under a moody grey sky.
I feel so swamped with work and after school meetings at the moment. I’m not complaining because this is what I wanted, and I feel like I’m doing something worthwhile. And I also know that these times come in waves, so before I know it, I’ll be over the peak and feeling better.
But I’m definitely peaking at the moment and I struggle to turn people down. I’ve started to read books on creating healthy boundaries and I realise that I find this very difficult.
I think that if I let someone down, they will hate me forever. And that is not true at all. I need to listen to the rational part of my brain, because that is the part that will keep me safe and prevent burnout.
Much Love
Rachel xx
Margot Kinberg
I’m glad you’re reflecting on your boundaries, and on what it’s reasonable for you to expect from yourself (and for others to expect from you). A lot of people have trouble saying, “no,’ but sometimes, for your own health, you have to. Take a deep breath, focus, and take it one task at a time.
clcouch123
I share in the overwrought concern that people will hate us forever if we turn them down at all. I feel this way because sometimes it has happened, though it had more to do with them and their agenda than with me. Mostly, folk move on, don’t they? And our helpful attitude means that we will look for ways to assist at other times that aren’t so pressing or offer what we can more reasonably do, now (or not) and overall. When we ask for help, I’ve no doubt that you ask with the right spirit, understanding how someone else can help or not.
juliadeniro
I also find it hard to turn people down. I wonder if it’s something that gets better with practice.