I think I did a loop today
Swooping down from massive heights
That buzzy high compared
With lows that push you into plastic seats
Struggling for a breath, a space
To feel like life is nice again.
This job is ridiculous in how it makes you feel from day to day. I had the most wonderful week, last week. As I drove home, the sun was shining and all the best songs were playing on the radio.
And then there was this week….
Today I nearly had to pull over because I was crying so hard; I could barely see the road. The low I have hit because of certain students, is so low that I feel like I’m being pressed into the ground without the ability to breathe.
I can’t think of another job in the world where you experience those highs and lows quite so quickly. I know that teenagers are all over the place, and I’m not much better, so we’re not a great mix.
I just need to keep telling myself that I’m doing OK, they won’t get me fired, I won’t get hurt and life will go on. I need to remind myself that I’m alright and this emotion makes me a valuable teacher (even though these tears make me seen like a little bit of a loser)!
Much Love
Rachel xx
Margot Kinberg
You are going to be OK, Rachel. You really are. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having such a hard week, though. That’s a part of it all, too, but knowing that doesn’t always help. Deeeee-ep breaths!
patientandkindlove
I breathed through it and I made it to Friyay!
saymber
Thank you Rachel for what you do. Lessons continue for us even when class lets out. It sounds like you are a very sensitive/empathic person. Iām sure you already know this but keep up with self care so when the lows come you have help to soothe you through it. Sending you a hug and gratitude. You got this! š¤
patientandkindlove
Ah, that’s lovely. I really have to hang onto the high points because there are so many but they get forgotten when even one bad thing happens.
Greg Dennison
Hang in there! I think all of that is normal.
patientandkindlove
I believe it is. Although I have spoken to several experienced teachers and they all say this is the toughest school they’ve worked in. If I move to another school it’s going to feel like a dream!
crispina kemp
I like to read of your teaching experiences. Although my school days were long long long long years ago, your accounts do make me wonder what torment we inflicted on our teachers.
patientandkindlove
I think most teachers think back to their own school days and cringe knowing what kind of student they were. I was an overenthusiastic know-it-all; so probably pretty annoying!
crispina kemp
My school reports always featured such comments as *she is a disruptive influence*, and *she doesn’t contribute*. In fact I did contribute, but in a disruptive way. I was the class comedian. If my mind wasn’t engaged, then I’d get creative. So it was in the subjects I struggled with that I most conformed
patientandkindlove
It’s interesting to hear people explain their behaviour as adults because students can’t articulate why they behave the way they do.
crispina kemp
So my comment was helpful? So pleased. š