the teaching rollercoaster

photo of roller coaster on amusement park
Photo by Matheus Cenali on

I think I did a loop today

Swooping down from massive heights

That buzzy high compared

With lows that push you into plastic seats

Struggling for a breath, a space

To feel like life is nice again.

This job is ridiculous in how it makes you feel from day to day. I had the most wonderful week, last week. As I drove home, the sun was shining and all the best songs were playing on the radio.

And then there was this week….

Today I nearly had to pull over because I was crying so hard; I could barely see the road. The low I have hit because of certain students, is so low that I feel like I’m being pressed into the ground without the ability to breathe.

I can’t think of another job in the world where you experience those highs and lows quite so quickly. I know that teenagers are all over the place, and I’m not much better, so we’re not a great mix.

I just need to keep telling myself that I’m doing OK, they won’t get me fired, I won’t get hurt and life will go on. I need to remind myself that I’m alright and this emotion makes me a valuable teacher (even though these tears make me seen like a little bit of a loser)!

Much Love

Rachel xx

11 thoughts on “the teaching rollercoaster

  1. Margot Kinberg

    You are going to be OK, Rachel. You really are. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having such a hard week, though. That’s a part of it all, too, but knowing that doesn’t always help. Deeeee-ep breaths!

  2. saymber

    Thank you Rachel for what you do. Lessons continue for us even when class lets out. It sounds like you are a very sensitive/empathic person. Iā€™m sure you already know this but keep up with self care so when the lows come you have help to soothe you through it. Sending you a hug and gratitude. You got this! šŸ¤—

    1. patientandkindlove

      I believe it is. Although I have spoken to several experienced teachers and they all say this is the toughest school they’ve worked in. If I move to another school it’s going to feel like a dream!

  3. crispina kemp

    I like to read of your teaching experiences. Although my school days were long long long long years ago, your accounts do make me wonder what torment we inflicted on our teachers.

    1. patientandkindlove

      I think most teachers think back to their own school days and cringe knowing what kind of student they were. I was an overenthusiastic know-it-all; so probably pretty annoying!

      1. crispina kemp

        My school reports always featured such comments as *she is a disruptive influence*, and *she doesn’t contribute*. In fact I did contribute, but in a disruptive way. I was the class comedian. If my mind wasn’t engaged, then I’d get creative. So it was in the subjects I struggled with that I most conformed

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.