He stood before the packed out house,
Shuffling papers in his hands
Nervous for his task today,
Ready to speak, to take the stand.
The opposition wait with bated breath,
Eager to attack his every word
They know he has no real excuse
Every one he gives them is absurd.
I’m sorry, he says through gritted teeth,
I didn’t know that cake made it a party,
Even the balloons were slightly cryptic
And Liz Truss dressed up all tarty.
I think we should just drop it now,
I’ve said I’m sorry, paid the fine,
Forget the ones who followed rules
While I had cake and too much wine.