here we go, no backing out now

photo of roller coaster on amusement park
Photo by Matheus Cenali on

The seats are slightly damp,

The person who just vacated, sweating

Sticking to the plastic cover

And the bar’s pulled down

With no way out, no screaming now

Will help as the cogs begin to turn.

The ride has started and

The people down below will wave

Oblivious of the panic setting in.

So it’s the eve of my interview and it feels like the bar has been pulled down on a rollercoaster and it’s clicked into place; now there is no way out. I will interview tomorrow and, as is the way with teaching positions, I will probably know the outcome before I have left the building.

It feels a bit like I’ve tapped the first domino in a domino run and there is no stopping them all going down. There is no guarantee that I will get the job but I have started something that I can’t go back from too easily.

When I’m on a rollercoaster, I love that feeling of knowing there is no way out until you reach the other end; the thrill seeker comes out in me and I just adore it. However, this makes me feel sick. I’m trying to reframe it and think of it as an exciting adventure – but the truth is, I’m terrified.

Bar down, here we go!

Much Love

Rachel xx

2 thoughts on “here we go, no backing out now

  1. Margot Kinberg

    I can imagine how nervous you must be feeling, Rachel, but you’re bringing your best to this, and it could be a fabulous opportunity. Take deep breaths and know that You. Can. Do. This.

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