Why do I duck and dive

When I wish I could stand

Firm in the knowledge

I have done it all right

Maybe I wavered

But at least I was nice.

It’s funny how you keep your head down and you don’t notice any of the cracks around you, then you step out of line and suddenly it’s all so glaring you can’t quite believe you didn’t see it before.

I’m still struggling to let my line manager know that I’m leaving (she knows, but we haven’t had that conversation yet). The thing is, I’m seeing some of the nastiness that just washed over me and it has made me feel really on edge.

I was almost sick today, because I got so nervous about speaking to the head of department. The look that she gave me in the corridor actually physically hurt me, and I think she would see me as ridiculous for feeling that way.

But there are those in the world that are tough and run departments, and then there are softies like me. I just think that we all need to learn to rub along together nicely.

Much Love

Rachel xx