You know you’re crap at your job,
You know you look like a fool?
You know that guy is way too hot for you,
And what’s going on with your hair?
That woman looks fat, a bit like a walrus,
You know that you’re awful for thinking it
But you’re the worst human of all of us.
You know that your thoughts are unholy
Even when insults are coming from me,
It’s you that’s the dickhead letting them be.
I guess that everyone has some form of inner monologue that seems to run wild every so often. And I do hope that sometimes their heads say some things that shock even them.
It’s a pretty awful feeling when your inner voice says things that you would never dream of saying to someone’s face, but I’m sure everyone has felt that loss of control and you have no idea where it even came from.
And then when that voice turns on yourself, things can get really messy.
I really want to know why we were designed to have this horrible person rattling around our brains. It’s like we were formed with a faulty setting and I demand a refund or replacement 😁
Much Love
Rachel xx
Margot Kinberg
Ah, yes, that hypercritical voice. I think we all hear it at times, Rachel. Research I’ve read suggests it sometimes happens when an influential person (parent, teacher, coach, etc.) said those kinds of things. Children tend to take those comments seriously and internalise them. Other research says social media doesn’t do much to help us have better views of ourselves – especially apps like TikTok. I think we have to be as kind in speaking to ourselves as we would want to be when speaking to others.
patientandkindlove
Absolutely. I once saw a therapist who asked if I would talk to a friend the way I talk to myself and it was a really eye opening moment to realise how awful I can be to myself. It’s a really good test.
clcouch123
I don’t know that we’re designed or born with this awful inner voice. Maybe more so we’re conditioned to take it on. Which I guess means we could be conditioned out of the voice, though that might require consistent positive remarks and encouragement. Hmm.
patientandkindlove
Yep, I think that unfortunately we’ve all been screwed up by our parents and we will go on to screw up our children. Hopefully someone will get it right one of these days!
Greg Dennison
Good point…
crispina kemp
How toxic our childhood. I know mine was. But it gives us something to fight against and we all need that
patientandkindlove
We all have little traumas that niggle away at us and that’s probably why therapy is such a good idea, and such a positive experience.
crispina kemp
Yes. Sometimes we need someone who probes a little deeper than we’d willingly go in our journals.😊
Rashi Sewani
Couldn’t be more related to this. It’s beautifully written.
patientandkindlove
Thank you, that’s really kind x