The wedding planner runs through rooms

With fifteen dresses on a rack,

The jewellery has been left behind

And the bride is crying in her room.

Aunty Joan is drunk already and

The page boy’s throwing tantrums as

He’s not allowed to dress as Batman as

He walks toward the altar for

A groom she knows has had affairs.

I was listening to the radio today and they were doing a phone in about weddings. They were focusing predominately on the issue of whether or not couples should invite children to their big day, but they did have a wedding planner phone in and I had to laugh as she described some of the issues that she is faced with.

Weddings should ideally be fun for everyone and the way that some people approach them stresses me out, so I don’t know how they can go about enjoying the event. In my opinion, we should all just get married at the local registry office and then have a barbecue and a few beers in our own gardens.

However, most people seem to want to blow their life savings on the day and it makes me laugh that this poor woman has to put up with all their crap when things go wrong and people start falling out and even crying and throwing things.

I really hope that these women – and they nearly always are women – get paid extremely well to deal with all that hideousness.

And I do want to say that the best wedding that I’ve been to was one where the reception was held at a village hall, decorated with sunflowers that the guests brought, and the entertainment was from the barbershop choir that the groom was a part of.

Be more like that bride – you’ll thank me for the advice. But then I wouldn’t make much money if I was a wedding planner, would I?

Much Love

Rachel xx