displaying some addictive qualities

She’s running miles and popping pills

Praying for a night of sleep

Without those haunting thoughts

That roll around, echoing

In the darkness of her room

It’s a scary place

A lonely place to ride it out.

I have found that some of my ugly addictive qualities are coming to the fore at the moment and it can sometimes feel quite scary. I’m a numbers girl, and I can become obsessed with pounds and pennies, stones on the scale, miles run and I also know that a quick fix is easy and dangerous.

I know that I’m safe and I know that I can ride out any uncomfortable feelings, but I do wonder what makes me think the way I do and why some of my thought patterns are so ugly.

I think that now I need lots of prayer and meditation and the space to just let my soul enjoy a bit of rest.

Much Love

Rachel xx

4 thoughts on “displaying some addictive qualities

  1. Margot Kinberg

    Those are such difficult times, Rachel. I wish you well as you work through this, and I’m glad you have the wisdom to do healthy things you need to do to take care of yourself.

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