She’s running miles and popping pills
Praying for a night of sleep
Without those haunting thoughts
That roll around, echoing
In the darkness of her room
It’s a scary place
A lonely place to ride it out.
I have found that some of my ugly addictive qualities are coming to the fore at the moment and it can sometimes feel quite scary. I’m a numbers girl, and I can become obsessed with pounds and pennies, stones on the scale, miles run and I also know that a quick fix is easy and dangerous.
I know that I’m safe and I know that I can ride out any uncomfortable feelings, but I do wonder what makes me think the way I do and why some of my thought patterns are so ugly.
I think that now I need lots of prayer and meditation and the space to just let my soul enjoy a bit of rest.
4 thoughts on “displaying some addictive qualities”
Those are such difficult times, Rachel. I wish you well as you work through this, and I’m glad you have the wisdom to do healthy things you need to do to take care of yourself.
I think there is a lot to be said for mindfulness and really grounding myself. I sometimes feel like my mind is running too fast and I just need to remind myself to breathe!
Since I’m not expert I’ll offer prayer.
Thank you x