limted bandwidth

Cram it in as much as you want,

There’s nothing more fitting your allotted space,

The grey matter will fire and spark

But without the memory, your items will flit

In the wind, blowing away, uncollected

Until the tidy up begins, rubbish is binned

And the world can be slowly allowed in.

I’m going on a really long solo hike this weekend and I’m really nervous. Every event I have done in the past has been well supported and so the idea of going it alone is filling me with fear.

Really it should be quite exciting. I’m getting a few days of quiet, to just enjoy my own company, enjoy the views of Yorkshire, and eat some good food. But the fears of getting lost – or worse – always creep in and so the anxiety builds and the brain just decides to shut down.

Somebody once told me that we all have a set bandwith and when you have filled that it’s impossible for our brains to deal with anything else. And this feels like my experience at the moment. I should be doing prep for the kids’ camp I’m helping with at the end of the holidays, but I can’t even think about it now. My bandwidth is well and truly full.

I’m sure that once I’m on the road I’ll feel much better, but for now my brain is full and I need to check my bag over and over for the same things, just hoping that I don’t go and die on a silly hike!

Wish me luck guys.

Much Love

Rachel xx

3 thoughts on “limted bandwidth

  1. juliadeniro

    I have the exact same problem you do. I experienced it this weekend, when my boyfriend and I went on a trip to the beach. I have times when my bandwidth is full.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.