why is ‘i’m sorry’ so hard to say?

brook among tall trees in autumn forest
Photo by Marta Wave on Pexels.com

The words come rolling from the tongue

Like bubbling water over boulders;

It can be beautiful, a photograph that hangs

In someone’s hallway or a place to picnic but

What happens when I need to stop?

When someone’s drowning underneath that peaceful brook?

When rivers burst their banks and flood the house?

And words can be as deathly strong and need

To halt but how’s that done when sorry really is

The hardest word to say? It burns like coals

That scorch the tongue with such ferocity.

It must be said, it is the only way to dam

That steady flow that’s sure to cause

Destruction to the masses, spreading outwards

If that word’s not said, so say it now

And stop the pain that it will cause.

I’m always floored by how hard it is to say sorry. When you enter a twelve step program, one of the big steps is to apologise for what you have done while your were under the influence. It sounds so easy but actually it is a really difficult thing to do.

To apologise is to make yourself vulnerable. You are admitting that you were wrong, or you did something wrong. It feels shameful and humbling and if the apology isn’t accepted then you can feel really rejected and hurt. You are essentially taking a risk.

I’ve experienced a lot of ‘brushing it under the carpet’ during my life and it’s proven to me that ignoring problems like that is super harmful. The only alternative is an apology, even if it’s both parties apologising for their part in what happened.

I guess the song is right, sorry is the hardest thing to say.

Much Love

Rachel xx