true crime

coffee laptop office internet
Photo by RODNAE Productions on

Cabinets full of cardboard files

Spilling out with crimes, unspeakable,

Things you couldn’t start to dream.

It feels a little like an alcoholic drink

Those thumbnails lined up on the Netflix screen,

Selling stories of the evil souls

That drift throughout this world we like

To view through glasses with that rosy tint.

But peel away those blushing lenses and you see

The darkness that would make us shudder.

That addiction that we feel, I couldn’t say just why,

Perhaps it is our safety net, to teach us what

We need to see, to dodge those tortured me that kill

Without a reason we can see.

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love true crime. I love books and documentaries and I find myself devouring the films and series that are on Netflix. I don’t really know why I have such a fascination with them but I suppose I do have a few theories.

Perhaps I’m a bit sick in the head myself. I like to think of myself as kind and that I wouldn’t hurt somebody but I guess we all push bed things down. I’m reading Jekyll and Hyde with my Year 10 students at the moment and the novel tackles this very issue. We all have something dark, hidden deep inside; our success in life just depends on how well we can hide it.

The other theory I have is that it’s a bit of a safety thing. I catastrophise anything and everything so in my head I’m always at risk of being murdered. It makes sense that I should enjoy watching these programmes so that I can have a head start over these murderers that are sure to target me any day now.

And then there is the fascination with the psychology behind it. I love trying to work out what has gone wrong in the brain of someone who does something really bad. I truly believe that we are all born good and something bad has to happen to cause these outbursts.

If I was brave enough I would most definitely go and work in a prison, but I’d spend most of the time hiding. I take my hat off to those people who are brave enough to keep the dangerous people safe and to also keep us safe on the outside.

Much Love

Rachel xx

the death row interview

They told me that he is a psychopath,

The blackness weighing heavy on his soul,

Not that he’s aware.

I smooth my scarlet business suit

Adjust a hair that’s flown away.

I wonder if he’ll notice things like that?

I wonder if he’ll zone in on my lips,

Painted red, thinking of a crime in life

That ripped a world apart?

They told me that he doesn’t care,

Even with the chains that clink

As he walks, never free to run again.

There is a chill that lingers in the air

As those chocolate eyes begin to bore

Through plate glass, the hissing of his voice

Through the telephone I clutch.

I fear that evil works it way

Down the line, into my brain,

Could he touch me? Could he break the glass?

Evil touches us despite those barriers

That save us from their solid hands,

But not from what can wrap its arms around

Our fragile bodies, ready to infect.

a bit of etymology

books file on shelf
Photo by Ekrulila on

There is a start to everything,

An early shoot that pushes through the soil

And flowers ephemerally,

In the hope that it will bloom

Into something worthy of its time.

I just watched the College Scandal documentary on Netflix and if you are looking for an hour or two to lose yourself in something, this comes highly rated. In case you don’t know what it’s about, it cover the case of Rick Singer who got the kids of wealthy clients into the best colleges by making them out to be talented athletes.

Now, I found the whole thing fascinating, but there was one thing that really popped out for me and that was when they started to talk about the reasons why they wanted to get into these schools.

I guess, over here in the UK we have Oxford and Cambridge, but I get the impression that over in the US it is the prestige of these top schools that pulls people in rather than the results. And one of the people being interviewed touched on this subject, and also where the word prestige actually comes from.

I find etymology really interesting and I just thought that a word like prestige must come from a really positive source. I assumed that it must be Latin for ‘the poshest place in town’, but that’s not it at all.

It turns out that prestige comes from a Latin word, praestigium, which means illusion or delusion and was literally used to describe magicians or jugglers, back in the day. So effectively, we are all looking for prestige and really that means we are all looking to create an illusion and to trick people.

I don’t know what that says about humans but next time somebody tells me that what they are selling is prestigious, I might think twice about actually wanting it.

Much Love

Rachel xx