the safety of the car

photo of person driving a vehicle
Photo by Elina Sazonova on Pexels.com

The sun will brush its fingers at the glass,

But all I feel is warmth.

The angry people beep their horns,

But all I hear is music.

The job I’m driving to is killing me inside,

But all I do is sing.

And I’ve got too many bills to pay this month,

But in my car those threatening envelopes

Flutter from the open windows on a motorway,

A flurry of the paper snow

That swings us down to epic lows.

I finished work early today as it was the final day of term. It was lovely to jump in my car in the daylight hours and get home before I had to turn my headlights on.

But what was more satisfying was putting the radio on and listening to Jeremy Vine. That sounds a bit sad, but I do have my reasons.

I used to work in the afternoons from 1-6pm and on my way to work I would listen to Jeremy Vine. It was during the time immediately after I left a really awful job and the relief after leaving it was immense.

After having a really tough time, I felt like I had been caught in a really soft cloud and somehow Jeremy’s voice has become synonymous with relief; hearing it makes me feel like I’ve just been allowed to take a deep breath after having been forced to go without air for far too long.

It was only as I drove home today that I remembered just how relaxed I felt in those days. Perhaps it’s also because I feel like I’m gasping for breath after the trauma of my first term teaching?!

Much Love

Rachel xx

the end is near

It seemed like a finish line too far away,

A promise that was whispered into a hungry ear,

Wanting to know that there would be an end

But too ravenous to think about checking the facts.

And so you will find yourself slogging away,

Too far has been covered to turn back to home,

Yet the sun is now setting on a dream that was seen

In a feverish sleep so long ago.

But it will come to end in a glorious way

When that pipe dream spurts out

Into a bountiful estuary, and a sea

Where the possibilities flow out in endless new ways.

I have been seeing loads of people on Facebook saying that they have just handed in their final uni essays and now it’s my turn! This afternoon my last assessment got sent, my viva is in two weeks, graduation in three and I start my new job in four.

When I set out on this teaching journey, I was really worried that I could go down in flames. I had no real teaching experience, I just knew that I enjoyed seeing people learning. But was that going to be enough to see my through?

I have now made it to within touching distance and I’m having time to reflect on the year. There are several people who have dropped out and I wonder what it was that got me through and not them? Particularly when you look at my track record.

I am celebrating my success and making sure I enjoy that because that has been a hell of a year. The finish line is in sight and I have run a few 100 milers so I know the ecstasy that you can feel when you finally reach that point!

Much Love

Rachel xx