falling over the finish line

Falling over that line, chalked on the ground

With a wonderful impermanence, you know

It will fade after one rainy day, but for now

It’s a wonderful kind of bliss,

It’s falling in bed, wrapped in a duvet

And closing your eyes when they’re heavy with sleep,

Knowing the alarm is silent tomorrow.

I finished school today and I’ve never felt so thrilled to reach ‘annual leave’ of any kind. This has been a term in a new school, which is hard enough. And then I’ve had illness to contend with. There was one point when I genuinely wasn’t sure I was going to live to Christmas.

So reaching the end of today was the sweetest feeling ever. I know that after Christmas, the evenings get lighter, and day by day life feels a little more pleasant – if only because I’m getting a little more Vitamin D.

But for now, I will be retiring to bed and you’ll be lucky to see me emerging any time before noon. To all the teachers out there, enjoy your break, you deserve it (as do all the nurses, doctors, ambulance workers, shop workers and everyone else who has to work super hard at theis time of year.)

Much Love

Rachel xx

last day of term

red volkswagen beetle scale model
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels.com

Computer screens will buzz with static

As the power drains from us; our energy

Gone from bodies feeling battered, bruised

And ready for a two week rest. Kids are gone

And teachers congregate in stuffy staff rooms,

Smiles are twitching at the corners of our mouths,

Knowing this is it, the end is here, we made it

With health intact and minds still ticking,

Just at a slightly slower rate. We hug

And wish each other Merry Christmas, pulling on

Our coats and scarves, loaded with a box of marking

Just in case we’re bored one day. For now we dream

Of wine in glasses large as bowls, and Christmas snacks

Laid in platters endlessly. Work can wait for now,

As can questions from those anxious students who

Claw at us for sweet attention every day;

They can wait until the new year rolls around.

overjoyed at making it

people toasting wine glasses
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

There is a finish line in sight,

We’ll stagger there, crying also

Laughing as we don’t know what to feel.

I think a rest is what is needed or

A short-ish stay in some facility

That can keep me safe and give me drugs

And get me ready for another round!

I made it!!! I made it to the end of my first half term as a qualified teacher! And what a roller coaster it has been.

I have had days when I have been buzzing and felt like I’ve made a real difference. Even if lessons went ‘badly’, I still felt like one kid might have got something positive from an hour in my room. And that is such a wonderful feeling.

However, there have also been days when I could barely see the road on my way home because I was crying so hard. And I’ve learnt that those ups and downs are normal and if I want to teach I need to accept that they will be a part of my life for my entire career.

I do have to remember that even if there are tough days, it can never be as bad as not caring. It was soul destroying to work on shop floor for 15 years, not feeling an ounce of passion for what I was doing. The only saving grace was that I could leave any stresses at the door at the end of my shift; now that is an impossibility.

For now, I am going to turn off my computer and rest for a couple of days – no planning and no marking at all. It is much needed as yesterday I needed to drive around a roundabout twice because I forgot where I was going and missed my exit.

Much Love

Rachel xx