why are we judging the good people?

Most teachers in the UK will be well aware of the story that broke last week, about a head teacher who recently killed herself after her school

when the classroom’s dark and cold

The corridors will echo on the early Monday mornings,

Sounds bowling down the buffed and polished floors

Like single snooker balls, clacking and whispering,

Following you to the door you’ve come to love,

Your sanctuary, but today it’s cold and dark,

The chill, like fingers gripping at your flesh

As you fumble for the heating switch.

Let there be light

And sound, as the computer whirs to life

Blinking sleepily, remembering

It’s time to work, to plaster on that smile

Forget the weekend’s drinking and it’s arguments

And immerse yourself in teenage drama mixed

With Shakespeare and some poetry,

A warm and lovely bath of ancient words.

no man is an island

I had a chat with one of my mentors yesterday to discuss all the crap I’m dealing with when I teach those horrible Year 11s. And I don’t know

on giving up a tiny bit

agriculture arable barley blur — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The inches turn to miles

And they can’t be made

Up to any decent race,

So you just throw in the towel

Hope that no one notices

As you slink away with tail

Between your legs and wounds are licked

Because it’s never easy really.

Is it?

I had a stinker of a day on Tuesday and I actually felt so bad I was just wanting to throw in the towel and give up teaching. I thought that students were rude and the lessons were pointless and there was just no reason to carry on.

But then you are faced with a fork in the road and you have to decide. Do I carry on with what I started, or do I do something new?

And then this opens up a whole new set of questions. What could I do that would be any better than this? Would it feel too painful to just walk away? Am I closing down doors in staying? What am I worth as a person? How do I even measure my success?

In the end I chalked it up to a bad day and I carried on. But it made me think of all the people who have faced that decision, particularly in these caring roles. There are so many that have walked away and I wonder how much talent has been lost over the years.

It was a horrible moment, to feel like I was on that precipice, looking down. But ultimately, some of these tougher moments get us to pause and look inside and evaluate our lives in a way you normally don’t. And I came to the conclusion that I’m on the right path.

I just need to suck it up, buttercup.

Much Love

Rachel xx