not known at this address

She lived here once, we think,

A faceless ghost that drifted through the rooms.

We thought we heard her whispering

Through netted curtains stained with time,

But we knew it couldn’t be.

So we pulled on thicker sweaters

And closed the windows closed.

We scrubbed her name from envelopes

That poured in through the door in spades,

Even that would not convince them that

She was once known at this loved address.

I got another bag of stuff through from the house that has now been sold. I’ve learnt to harden my heart when they come through because I know that something bad will be in each delivery. And today’s was no different.

In the bag was a letter for me and in my aunt’s handwriting, on the envelope, is written ‘NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS’. I can’t fathom what would make her wish to scrub me. She has been vicious and it actually hurts my heart. I’ve also been blocked by my mum on Facebook and I know that’s down to her sister.

I think that rejection by a mother is possibly one of the toughest things to go through. To know that your mother hates you so much that you are no longer a known person at the family home.

I literally want to crumple. There is no air in my lungs and my body hurts. This pain is immense.

Much Love

Rachel xx