i wonder what it feels like to be cameron diaz

Does she roll out of bed with hair in disarray?

Has she ever just had a really bad day?

With those legs that men want wrapped around them,

Showing up us womenfolk with our rolls of skin,

There’s no bloody way she can ever feel low

When she’s dated the Timberlake and been kissing Jude Law.

We’ve seen her in shots taken on beaches, surfing in swimwear

That shows of a midriff that’s ironing board flat,

With that tousled blonde hair, can you tell that I’m jealous?

I just wish that I looked like Cameron Diaz,

With legs up to my armpits and the boys of my dreams,

Flocking to spend passionate nights in a Los Angeles pad.

What would I give for a day in that life,

Looking that gorgeous, and living out life

The way the mere mortals dream out wild fantasies

In the weirdest of ways….