on giving up a tiny bit
The inches turn to miles
And they can’t be made
Up to any decent race,
So you just throw in the towel
Hope that no one notices
As you slink away with tail
Between your legs and wounds are licked
Because it’s never easy really.
I had a stinker of a day on Tuesday and I actually felt so bad I was just wanting to throw in the towel and give up teaching. I thought that students were rude and the lessons were pointless and there was just no reason to carry on.
But then you are faced with a fork in the road and you have to decide. Do I carry on with what I started, or do I do something new?
And then this opens up a whole new set of questions. What could I do that would be any better than this? Would it feel too painful to just walk away? Am I closing down doors in staying? What am I worth as a person? How do I even measure my success?
In the end I chalked it up to a bad day and I carried on. But it made me think of all the people who have faced that decision, particularly in these caring roles. There are so many that have walked away and I wonder how much talent has been lost over the years.
It was a horrible moment, to feel like I was on that precipice, looking down. But ultimately, some of these tougher moments get us to pause and look inside and evaluate our lives in a way you normally don’t. And I came to the conclusion that I’m on the right path.
I just need to suck it up, buttercup.