We decorated the office for Christmas the other day and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. There is something about everyone coming together to put up the tackiest decorations known to man that is so heart warming.
I think that a big part of my love for it comes down to being an only child and not having all that hustle and bustle that comes with lots of people putting up the tinsel. I always remember mum wanting the perfect tree and she would do it all herself. There would be no arguments or people tripping over one another. It was just quiet and ordered.
I really enjoyed watching my new colleagues fighting with one another and bickering over music and trying desperately to stand up a tree with no legs (using a box of Romeo and Juliet texts). I felt like I was part of one of those warm and friendly families that you see on the TV and I really liked it.
Don’t venture into that world that is socially blue
On the night when the Earth has made a full circle
As the faces that glare out of pictures online
Will haunt and will taunt and sneer at your life.
You’ll see inside houses that have islands in kitchens
And living rooms like a Habitat ad.
And there is the girl with her boiler in view,
Walls with holes and doors that don’t match.
I wish I’d not looked into those windows
Into the lives of people I met once,
The people who I mocked for being a bit stupid
And now I am realising they’re richer than me.
I’m not actually as bitter as this poem makes me out to be. I love all my friends and I think people with money and lovely houses are very deserving of everything they have.
However, sometimes I feel those tendrils of jealousy wrapping around my heart and Facebook is not a good place for easing that problem. On New Year’s Eve (particularly this year) you are subjected to seeing inside every house of every friend, and they’re all better than yours.
However, this year, more than ever, I’ve realised just how much I love my little flat and everybody in it. I feel so blessed and actually quite proud that I have made a home and run it smoothly for the entirety of 2020. Four years ago I would have struggled to do that for more than a month, so that’s a win.
Be proud of everything you’ve achieved this year. No matter how small your achievement was, you’re amazing.
Cheers,
Rachel xx
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