i’d be a donkey so that i could ride jesus on me

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When words all muddle into muddy puddles

So that colours blend to make a brown

And nonsense pours from every mouth,

We blush and try to take it back

But sometimes it’s just best to think,

Let those neurons spark and light

And see the words in proper form,

Not showing naked ugliness,

But clothed in beauty such that makes

The crowds all stop and sigh

With something quite a lot like awe.

As a trainee English teacher, I’m obviously really passionate about writing and crafting words into the most beautiful shape possible. But I also have the chance to hear and read some of the worst use of words that you could possibly wish to stumble upon.

I find that a lot of the times when students make no sense at all, they know what they are trying to say but they have tried to rush it out quickly and it comes out as nonsense.

It can be quite funny to read but sometimes hearing it is just downright hilarious. I asked my tutor group what animal they would be and why and this kid answered that he wanted to be a donkey ‘so that I could ride Jesus on me.’

He just breezed over the sentence like it made perfect sense but the teacher and I were killing ourselves with laughter because he sounded like Yoda.

I absolutely love these slips of the tongues. There are always times when someone comes out and says something filthy to their boss or their parents and only register what they have said once it is out.

I think it’s a major problem with the wiring in our brains and if they were computers we would be taking them back to PC World straight away. I find it funny but I know it’s never quite so hilarious when it’s your own brain that’s malfunctioned.

Much Love

Rachel xx