sweet dreams and fever dreams

thermometer on blanket
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You tumble softly into clouds

Before the fever grips your brain

And all the monsters crawl to light

Scaring you, confusing too.

So I haven’t written a post in a week which is unheard of, but I had the flu so bad I started to think I wasn’t going to recover.

Last Tuesday we had to call out the ambulance because I was coughing up blood and was running a really high fever. I ended up in A&E on Friday because I was still running a fever and after five days I was starting to lose the will to live.

It was the first time I’ve had those weird fever dreams in such a long time, and the things that run through your brain are really interesting.

While I was waiting for the doctor to see me I seemed to have it in my head that I was Health Secretary. I’m guessing that watching Matt Hancock in the jungle had infiltrated my thoughts and when I found myself in a hospital setting I seemed to put the two together and began feeling like it was my job to sort waiting times when I got back to the office.

Of course, I didn’t say any of this to the doctors because I didn’t want to get locked in the psychiatric part of the hospital – but it was an interesting set of thoughts to experience.

I am no longer delusional and I am back at work. Life is good and I hope yours is too.

Much Love

Rachel xx

on being sick

brown and white bear plush toy
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White blood cells whipping through

Veins that throb with effort

Heat emitting from our pores

The only way to flush the bug

That slyly took the body by surprise

Its evil fingers pulling

At our throat, our lungs

Hurting us with every painful breath.

I have got sick again and I am very bad at being sick. I run so I find my immune system is really strong and I very rarely pick up flu or colds. But then I got COVID last month and I think it’s knocked my immunity.

I was so sick this morning that I actually lay in bed crying. I’m that pathetic.

COVID has a lot to answer for, in my humble opinion. I have had a month of feeling really crummy – the brain fog has been the most frustrating thing. But this weekend has felt like hell and I hope that once I’ve coughed up all this green gunk, I can start looking forward to a healthier life.

Much Love

R xx