the thinnest line between life and death

It falls like curtains,

Diaphanous,

So thin we feel a cold and hardened dread

When it flaps beneath the wind

Brushing skin,

Reminding us

How close it is.

I went to KFC with my dad and Noah today. We were sitting enjoying our meal when I noticed some girls coming up the steps. Something seemed off and I turned to see what was happening.

One of the girls just dropped on the stairs. I watched as her friends tried to get her up but she was just floppy. The literally dragged her to the seats next to ours and they were trying to prop her up as her head drooped to one side.

The poor girl was sweating and she was going grey and it was quite a scary moment but her friends didn’t seem to have a clue what to do. My dad told them that they needed to phone for an ambulance and eventually they did so, but it was almost as though they wanted to convince themselves that she was fine.

I even heard one of them saying to the person on the phone that she was fine but she was slipping in and out of consciousness. I would say that is being far from fine.

We left as they were still on the phone so I don’t know the outcome of the situation but the girl looked like she was on death’s door. I’m not sure if she had taken something, but it just goes to show that we never know when these awful things could happen. A fun afternoon out, for those girls, turned really bad and I’m sure it was far from what they expected when they woke up this morning.

It just made me remember that we need to remember how fragile life is; it can end in an instant. Look after those you love.

Much Love

Rachel xx

where exactly is the middle?

arts and crafts carpentry wood wood shavings

I scratched an ugly mark

Onto the wood we were about to saw,

I hadn’t measured out the pieces I would use

To make a lovely bench, I planned to place

In the garden, underneath the willow tree

Where I’d like to sit and read, in the shady spot.

But with no way of measuring, my estimates proved wrong

And when I hammered all the parts together into one,

My bench was rather wonky, unsightly,

Not fit for purpose.

And yet,

I loved it still.

I’d sit upon the bench with books in hand

And wedge my feet in place to keep myself from sliding.

My bench was quite the eyesore, the butt of jokes

From well meaning friends over chardonnay.

But it was my bench, I made it,

It was only right I loved it so.

I read someone’s post on social media and she had turned 34 and she was wrote that her life had been amazing and she would be happy to have 34 more years. I know what she meant but I immediately thought she was selling herself short. If she only had 34 more, she wouldn’t even make it to seventy.

But then it got me thinking about the fact that none of us really know where the middle is. I sometimes look at the age my grandparents died at and use that as my end date. But the truth of the matter is that I might die tomorrow. Nobody knows.

And then I started to think about what effect this has on a person’s life. If you don’t know where the middle is, how do you know if you are on track to fulfil all of your dreams before the end comes?

I thought it was a little bit like having a go at some carpentry with no rulers and possibly blindfolded. The bench or the table you would make would be awfully wonky and not very aesthetically pleasing.

But isn’t that what life is all about? Creating a life that has ugly bits but is beautiful to you because you made it. I don’t know where my middle is, but I think it’s probably best to crack on with my own woodwork project so that I have something to show for it at the end.

Much Love

Rachel xx

thinking about death

We’re all thinking a lot

About the fact that it could end

At any time.

Life has very fast become

Transient,

A film we watch

With popcorn in our laps.

And now we see

The final kiss is near.

But rather than the leading man,

It’s from a virus

Sent from Hell.

This wasn’t how it’s meant to end

But just you try and stop

Those credits as they roll.

I hope your movie was a hit,

I hope it made you laugh and cry,

I hope you fell in love.

Just remember, don’t be scared,

Life is just a little blot

On a never ending spool of film,

And so, without a doubt,

We’ll meet again

Somewhere down the line.

During really scary and uncertain times I think that we are all forced into thinking more carefully about the end. Not wanting to get too dark, but the virus the world is faced with at the moment can infect anyone. And we have seen that apparently young and fit people can die.

But thinking about the end doesn’t always need to be dark and depressing. Because if you are thinking about the end, you also must think about life as a whole. And hopefully, you can look back on the life you have had so far and be proud of accomplishments and also remember really good times that you have shared with your family and friends.

I think that although this virus is causing massive disruption and thousands of deaths, it is giving a lot of people a chance to pause and really think about life and how we spend our days. And I guess that’s a really good thing, right? Just pause and breathe and reflect while you have this opportunity, because we don’t know what kind of world we are going to be stepping back out in to.

It’s also worth thinking about what you believe is going to happen after death. I hope that you have a positive outlook on death and where you will find yourself on the other side. My faith helps me to feel less scared and I hope that you have faith in something bigger than what we have here on Earth.

Use this precious time wisely.

Much Love,

Rachel xx