on always looking ugly on video calls (a poem)

semi opened laptop computer turned on on table
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The cold white light that burns

From frosty windows filled with clouds,

It pastes the skin in pallid white,

Defining bags that swim beneath the eyes,

And spots that came up overnight

Erupt like small volcano mounts

That cry for makeup scraped on thick.

I wish my hair would fall in curls

That bounce like other girls,

Not straight and straggled with the grease

From a shower missed last night.

The humble call with video too

Will be the death of you…..

i may put makeup on tonight

woman reflecting in mirror while applying makeup
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Warpaint smeared across a cheek

The socket of an eye is coloured black

Or smokey as they say in glossy magazines.

My face is always bare and bland

So Hogmanany will brightly see

The new year in with bangs and fizz

That blinds the eyes of God knows who.

I have never been a big makeup wearer but I do sometimes enjoy glamming up for special occasions. However, I’ve never really understood the girls who wear a full face every day.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. In fact, I am rather in awe of them. They always look so perfectly turned out and I wish that I had the time or the inclination to look that beautiful every day. I watch The Real Housewives of wherever and wish that I could have those eyebrows.

The problem is that worry over what happens if you don’t have time. There’s always that one day where you sleep through your alarm and you have to run out of the house without a shower or breakfast. If you haven’t had time to put the makeup on you end up looking ten years older than you did just one day earlier.

There was this one time when I went to a staff party and we all stayed over. The next morning everyone was seriously hung over and we all went to work in unclean clothes and none of us had brushed our teeth. There was one girl who always wore a tonne of makeup and she didn’t that day and all everyone went on about was how ill she looked.

But she wasn’t all that ill. I spoke to her that day and she was fine. The problem was that she looked washed out because she didn’t have foundation and mascara.

So, the lesson I am giving you is that perhaps we should look like trolls for most of the time so that when we do make an effort on special occasions everyone thinks we look pretty. Surely this is better than looking stunning every day and then having comments made about how ill you look on the days that you don’t bother.

It’s not a very profound message, but put some makeup on tonight and feel pretty. Don’t bother for the rest of the year and everyone will just expect you to look like a troll.

Much Love,

Rachel xx