the marking mountain
Two weeks ago, I set all my classes an assessment task, which is all well and good until I remember that means I’ve just given myself 150 books
Read More...Tag: teacher training
the way the teachers used to be
I love hearing stories about my dad’s childhood and the way he treated his teachers. He normally tells me them when I come home exhausted
Read More...for no reason at all
The phrase I hear more than any other at all is ‘for no reason at all’ – and it really drives me crazy. I hear it nearly every break time
Read More...on giving up a tiny bit
The inches turn to miles
And they can’t be made
Up to any decent race,
So you just throw in the towel
Hope that no one notices
As you slink away with tail
Between your legs and wounds are licked
Because it’s never easy really.
Is it?
I had a stinker of a day on Tuesday and I actually felt so bad I was just wanting to throw in the towel and give up teaching. I thought that students were rude and the lessons were pointless and there was just no reason to carry on.
But then you are faced with a fork in the road and you have to decide. Do I carry on with what I started, or do I do something new?
And then this opens up a whole new set of questions. What could I do that would be any better than this? Would it feel too painful to just walk away? Am I closing down doors in staying? What am I worth as a person? How do I even measure my success?
In the end I chalked it up to a bad day and I carried on. But it made me think of all the people who have faced that decision, particularly in these caring roles. There are so many that have walked away and I wonder how much talent has been lost over the years.
It was a horrible moment, to feel like I was on that precipice, looking down. But ultimately, some of these tougher moments get us to pause and look inside and evaluate our lives in a way you normally don’t. And I came to the conclusion that I’m on the right path.
I just need to suck it up, buttercup.
Much Love
Rachel xx
preparing for the shit storm
I have now got to the point where I quite literally feel like I’m going to vomit before I go into work on Tuesday. I hate that I care so much
Read More...the cherry on the top
I had a bit of a tough week at work this week, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. So, I was slogging my way through my final lesson on Friday
Read More...riding that rollercoaster
I left work today on one of the low parts of this rollercoaster of a job. There are some days when I feel like I’m the best freakin’ teacher
Read More...slog, slog, slog away
Slowly crawl,
Slog your way
To higher numbers,
Triple digits,
Then four or five,
But do it for
Reasons that are right.
I just got a little notification from WordPress to say ‘Congratulations! You have reached 1,000 flollowers!’ And I had to stop and smile because it’s been a bit of a labour of love to reach that significant marker.
When I started this blog, I had high hopes of making a fortune from it, but as I wrote, I found I didn’t want to create content that was all about the best ways to save money or ween your baby. I wanted to write poetry, and about my life in the hope that at least a few people might feel the same things as me.
And for that reason, three years down the line, I have earnt zilch from this project. And I have put hours and hours of work into writing thousands of posts.
But the joy I have had in making those posts, sending them out into the world and receiving loving comments back is worth much more than thousands in advertising. And I hope that the 1,000 followers I have accrued are lovely people who value what I write.
Thank you to all of you (especially those of you who are not bots), and here’s to another three years of writing while laughing, smiling and crying.
Much Love
Rachel xx
don’t be angry, they’re still half baked
Those little squishy brains like loaves
Crammed so tightly inside skulls,
Easy bake ovens baking them away.
But always remind yourself
That the teenage brain is half baked
It still has a way to go
Before it gets its golden crust
That tasty crunch that makes such sense
And airy insides free of angst.
One of the most interesting things I learnt during teacher training was that the teenage brain is not fully formed and this means that they genuinely struggle to understand other people’s emotions. They do things without thinking and then have no clue as to why others are upset. They are the centre of their own universes and we are just inconveniences that get in the way.
I had to grit my teeth and remind myself of this scientific fact today – otherwise I would have thrown something and screamed.
Last night I stayed at work until seven, speaking to parents and giving glowing reports. Today, those same students did nothing in lesson and because I dared to ask one of them to stay behind for five minutes to finish the work, she left my room and stuck her middle finger up at me as she left.
I was fuming, and I still am fuming – hence the reason I’m writing all about this. Thank god I got the memo that teenagers don’t give a damn about anyone’s feelings, because if I hadn’t, I may not have been responsible for my actions today.
Much Love
Rachel xx
so they do actually trust me
It’s a funny little thing,
To know that you’re loved,
That they trust your word
And the advice that you give,
It hums in your bones
And puts warmth in your belly,
Knowing they like you,
That they care what you say.
I have a real issue with thinking that people don’t like me, so when I get proof that they do, it can sometimes come as a bit of a shock.
As a teacher, you are putting yourself up for being mocked, and being picked on by teenagers can be miserable. Teenagers are mean.
I have a slightly tricky Year 9 group and there are a couple of girls that are always sniggering in my class. I have spent the whole half term worrying that they hate me.
But yesterday, just before the end of lunch two of them rushed into my room and stood wuietly in front of me, quite obviously deliberating whether or not to confide in me.
“Tell her!” one hissed at the other.
“I don’t think I should,” whispered the girl.
I shifted my weight as I waited for her to word vomit whatever it was just before the bell.
I managed to get out of her that shee was having a friendship issue and she was wanting my advice on what to do. Her plan was to ‘get revenge’, which I told her may not be the best idea. I told her to enjoy her half term and have a break from social media and all the bitching that can go on between fourteen year old girls.
She nodded and off they ran, as the bell began to sound.
I was left standing in my doorway, wandering how I had gotten it so wrong again. I’m obviously doing something right and that was a nice feeling.
Much Love
Rachel xx